Located an hour north of Parc Astérix, Parc Saint Paul has become a popular stop-off for enthusiasts, making the obligatory Toutatis pilgrimage. This is a small park aimed at families, with a large variety of rides for smaller guests, as well as many, many play areas. With the gate price a very reasonable €28, we weren’t expecting to spend much time at all at this brief cred stop.
Approaching the entrance, we were greeted with a chaotic wonderland of violently colourful figures. Adjacent to the main gate were the toilets, cheerfully labelled as the boys and girls ‘pipi popo’. I’m not sure of the French translation, but I can take a pretty solid guess. Nearby were also some pretty happy-looking, if not particularly animated, security (literally just a life-size statue of a security guard). The whole thing had an enormous amount of fake spiderwebs strewn across, plus the sort of banner you’d find in the window of a Poundland, featuring a sprinkling of generic Halloween words (FANTOMES, SORCERERES… you get the gist.) I loved it. There’s something about these aggressively non-aesthetic parks that brings me so much joy. Especially when maintained to a high standard. It may be tacky, but that entrance was pristine. Sure, nothing looked pretty, but they had thrown the works at it nonetheless. What a welcome!
It immediately became apparent that Parc Saint Paul does not mess around when it comes to Halloween. One of the very first things we saw on entering the park was a ghost ship making its way along the lake, a sort of old-timer steamer, reminiscent of Louisiana, but covered in drapes. This wasn’t the sort of park I expected transport rides in, so this was a very pleasant surprise! Walking a little further up, we passed a witch hovering next to a cauldron. She didn’t look particularly happy, but then you can’t exactly blame her when she was frozen in this pose every time we walked past. Hovering can’t be too comfortable! (Seriously, how does she not get a dead arm?)
Having not long left Disneyland Paris, where better to start our visit than at ‘Mini Mouse Cartoon’? This bizarre kiddie coaster thankfully does not feature any off-brand Minnie Mouse branding, instead opting for an adorable anthropomorphic train, several giant gingerbread men (some of which sported santa hats) and, for the season, a bunch of skeletons wearing wigs. The whole thing was nicely presented on some fake grass, with brightly coloured track and supports. Sure, the ride was terrible, the sort of kiddie coaster you weep on as it launches into the fourth lap, but the colourful chaos of the presentation? Beautiful.
First shame cred of the day complete, we decided we’d better get the whole reason for our visit ticked off. It was time to make our way to the very back of the park to experience the signature attraction of Parc Saint Paul: Wood Express. Wood Express is a Gravitykraft wooden coaster, a ride that can name Mine Blower and Cú Chulainn amongst its cousins. It’s also a ride that feels incredibly impressive for a park of this size. Sure, it’s no El Toro, but a respectable, permanent family coaster is still a sizable investment. On the day of our visit, the coaster was running just one, 12-person, train. Given the quietness of the park, this wasn’t a problem, but it did make the wait for the back row a little lengthy. I didn’t really mind this at all, given how gorgeous the train was! It was a joy to watch it come and go, and even better to ride! If you’re a regular around these parts, you’ll probably know that I try my best to avoid a rough coaster, and normally, a wooden coaster at a small regional park would be a prime candidate. But, even on the back row, Wood Express was delightful! Packed full of airtime and… well, that’s about it, but that’s what you want from an out-and-back woodie! If we didn’t have a Eurotunnel to make, I would have spent a good while lapping this. It really is worth the visit to the park in itself, if you’re in the area at least.
Just around the corner from Wood Express, we found our next cred of the day: La Souris Verte (The Green Mouse). This was a standard spinning Wild Mouse, but in true Parc Saint Paul style, they’d done so much to make more out of it on a limited budget. To enter the ride, you walk through an enormous block of cheese, a gap having been made for you with the adjacent fork. The ride itself had had its base covered with artificial grass for a far more permanent feel, and – even better – the grass is inhabited with a small army of mice! The trains are adorable, violently colourful mice, and you know what? It really doesn’t ride that badly either! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wild mouse. It’s not a good coaster. But it didn’t hurt me. Honestly, for a wild mouse, that’s enough! I was really starting to like this place!
Our next stop was the only coaster outside of Wood Express that I’d heard things about prior to arrival. Namely, that when riding Wild Train, I had to sit in the back row. So, we obediently walked our way straight onto the back of the waiting train and… wow. Okay. Wild Train really does what it says on the tin, huh? This thing is ridiculous! The airtime over the first drop is obscene, the profiling is ridiculous, and had it not been for one moment that aggressively attacked my neck, I would have been enjoying plenty of rides on this madness! As it was, it was far too painful for me to want additional rides, but jeez. What a crazy mess.
Now, usually, I’d probably mention the presence of a wacky worm in a final round-up, if at all, but we’re at Parc Saint Paul, so of course, they’d gone the extra mile! La Pomme features another gorgeous entrance, with a cartoon worm emerging from an apple, atop two logs. But, it’s not the entrance that sets this worm apart, it’s the pomme itself! This had the best apple I’ve ever experienced on a wacky worm! You pass through the apple not once but twice at different levels, whilst passing by the oversized plants surrounding the track. Once again, the ride itself is nothing special, but with a bit of extra love, the park have transformed it into a whimsical joy, and all so fresh and vibrant!
Small regional parks are the nemesis of meat-free enthusiasts the world over. Sadly, Parc Saint Paul was no exception, and I found it challenging to find a meat-free option. In the end, I settled for a bag of chips. They were pretty decent fries, at least, and drinks were a whisker cheaper than other parks at €3 for a 330ml can. It was even better news for beer drinkers, though, with a can of beer costing just 50c more than a soft drink! Still, a little on the tragic side for lunch.
In an unexpected twist for a decidedly family-oriented park, Parc Saint Paul is home to a year-round scare attraction, Le Château Hanté. Of course, being Halloween, the attraction was given a little extra pizazz with ‘zombies’. I’m unsure if this means there are usually no scare actors present? (I believe this is the case.) But for our visit, there would be during set times. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this was our longest wait of the day, with it taking us about 40 minutes to reach the front of the line. This was largely due to the large gaps left between batches, which, on a scare attraction, is never a bad thing! In fact, I was grateful for the delay, which gave us plenty of time to enjoy the impressive façade. The spooky, castle-esque building was adorned with some incredible theming elements, including enormous pumpkin and zombie faces. Again, all the decor was maintained to a very high standard and was wonderfully colourful. I can’t say all of it was quite to my taste, though, with the queue line featuring a lady tearfully gazing upon the missing sign for her dog… the same dog that can be found stuck in her bottom. Choices were certainly made. The attraction itself was kitschy, somewhat akin to a walk-through seaside ghost train, packed full of low-grade animatronics, light and water effects. There’s even a trommel! A trommel! Honestly, how can any major theme park fail to maintain their trommel when parks like this can? Scare-level-wise, this was absolutely fine for us, with just a couple of jumps throughout, but the kids in there at the same time as us were not having a good time. I could not tell you what anything in here sounded like, except for the hysterical cries of children who had been forced into a scare attraction against their will. Urgh. Had it not had the lengthy wait, I would have definitely gone back for more run-throughs of this delightfully spooky and strange attraction!
From the old and kitschy to the downright impressive, we couldn’t leave the park without experiencing Dino Disk’O. This is a ride that, in a park of this scale, has to be seen to be believed. There are many contenders for the best-themed Disk-O coaster I’ve experienced, but this might just pip it. The towers have waterfalls for crying out loud! Throw in the dinosaur-shaped seats, endless dinosaur figures scattered around, and incredible rock-work, and this might even beat Discobelix at Parc Astérix. This themed attraction deserves a global audience, it’s that beautiful!
We had just one final coaster to experience before making our departure, but on our way there, I had to stop and pinch myself as one of the park’s mascots stood waiting for us, in a themed meeting spot, wearing a seasonal outfit. I’d hit the mascot jackpot! Pilouna (as I believe this spooky queen is known) was a delight, looked incredible in her witch costume, and had no wait at all – the best kind of character meet! The house backdrop also gave me big Toontown vibes in the best way, with a whimsical design and bright colours. Even the paving stones were pretty!
Our final ride of the day was Aérotrain, a perfectly enjoyable but unremarkable Vekoma family coaster. However, what was remarkable was the transformation of the entire ride area into some kind of Halloween wonderland. There were photo opportunities, decorations, and plenty of interactive games scattered around… all directly beneath the roller coaster. Is this not absolutely bizarre? Surely this area should be secured… right? The decorations were very fun, at least, in keeping with everything else we’d seen around the park. With a final glance at the gorgeous pile of pumpkins, plants, and Pilou at the entrance, we made our way back to the car.
As this was only a brief stop on our journey back to Calais, we weren’t able to experience all of the park’s offerings. Most other attractions were aimed at a younger audience, but there was also a surprisingly strong entertainment roster, including a family bubble show and a stunt show featuring motorbikes in a cage(?!) Elsewhere in the ride line-up, you’ll find many of the most popular family attractions, including a dinosaur-themed Zamperla NebulaZ (they really are everywhere) and log flume, bunny-themed pony trek and bouncing frogs dogs.
Unlike Bellewaerde, I actually did come away with a souvenir from Parc Saint Paul, not that I’m really sure what to do with it. How exactly do you store fake money? One way or another, I will treasure my Pilou Bucks. The perfect, weird reminder of a not-nearly-perfect but perfectly weird park.
Speak again soon,
Claire
coasterclaire.co.uk 