As pumpkins pile up on the compost heap, and fairy lights begin to twinkle, it’s time to admit that spooky season 2023 is well and truly over. The most chaotic time of year has not disappointed this year, and I’ve been able to experience a whole variety of events, including, for the first time, a few in Europe! Across the season I’ve experienced over 40 different scare attractions across a variety of events, so I thought I’d have a little chat about some of my favourites, and some that didn’t quite hit the mark.
Favourite Event
FEAR at Avon Valley
All year I bemoan the fact that I live in Bristol. (At least when it comes to theme parks, I really do love the city!) As much as I love Astro Storm, Brean hardly qualifies as having a theme park nearby, and as such I spend seemingly my entire life on both the M4 and M5. But, when spooky season rolls around, suddenly living here is a treat. Living here means having the best event in the country (that I’ve been to, at least) on our doorstep. The wonderful FEAR at Avon Valley. Last year was my first time visiting this event, and I had a fantastic night, but even that didn’t prepare me for this year. Even with the exact same line-up as last year, it all felt fresh thanks to actors who were relentless. I visited towards the end of the season and screamed more in my first attraction here (Vita Nova) than I had in the entire rest of the season prior. Don’t even get me started on the complex shapes the incredible actors in Malefica manage to contort themselves into, or the only street team in the country who have managed to make me laugh and scream but never cringe! Even The Core, widely known for being The One You Have To Wear Massive Waders For, massively ramped up its scares this year! I also had the single best veggie burger I’ve eaten at any event here. Oh, and there’s The Exorcism too, but more about that later. Whilst many UK events have left me wanting to freshen up my line-up next year, FEAR has once again left me desperate for more.
Runner Up: Peur sur le Parc (Parc Astérix)
Favourite Scare Maze
Funerarium (Bellewaerde)
Funerarium was our third attraction on my very first day of experiencing European scares and friends, I was not ready. The centrepiece of this gorgeous attraction is a lantern, by which you guide yourself through the dark confines of an unsettling funeral directors. This is no normal lantern, however! The light colour, brightness, and effects alter as you make your way through the attraction, to give each scene its own lighting design, held by you. This technology makes for a stunning, immersive experience, but don’t worry, that doesn’t mean it’s any less scary! The experience begins by taking an elevator down into the funerarium itself, except unlike most ‘elevator’ scenes in mazes, this one is real. And there’s an actor in there. An employee who is busy at work cleaning the elevator before you arrive and takes great joy in cleaning you whilst he’s at it. (Read: pinning you in a corner and shoving water down your neck whilst you’re trapped in this elevator unable to escape!) Throughout the attraction, the actors deliver incredible scares and have you crawling through all sorts of spaces. Even without the many other wonderful attractions in the park’s line-up, The Funerarium alone has me dying to return to Bellewaerde’s event!
Runner Up: Le Tombeau des Dieux (Parc Astérix)
Favourite Alternative Attraction
The Exorcism (Fear at Avon Valley)
I love immersive experiences. I love scares. I really love theatre. So you can bet I adore The Exorcism at FEAR. An attraction unlike any other I’ve experienced at a scare event, The Exorcism is far more than a show. It really is an experience, with guests gathered intimately around the cast for a performance that is equal parts gripping and intense. It’s a concept that could easily run into the ridiculous. On paper, watching an actor perform as though a demon is being exorcised from their body doesn’t sound like it’ll actually be that scary. It’s just an actor, right? But, on my visits across both seasons of the attraction, the cast has been sublime. They make this feel real. This girl really could be torn to shreds by the beast possessing her any moment, and you’re sat just a foot away! Combine the astonishing performances with theatrical tricks, stunts, and audio and lighting that ramp the intensity up to 11, and this is an unmissable experience.
Runner Up: Area 52 (Screamfest)
Favourite Scare Zone
Burial Grounds (Alton Towers)
I was always going to love Burial Grounds. Wicker Man is one of my favourite themed experiences in the UK, and I’ve always been devastated to have missed The Welcoming. So I’m delighted to finally have experienced a Wicker Man scare experience, but honestly? I really didn’t expect it to go this hard. I’m not really sure what happened here. Maybe it was because we were part of an enthusiast takeover, maybe it’s because myself and Emily-May were bringing up the back of the Scaremazing group and got separated from everyone else. Maybe we just looked like people who really liked a good scare. Whatever it was, my first run-through in Burial Grounds was unhinged. It was 5pm in Alton Towers Resort, and people were running up to me and holding weapons to my throat. Hooks that looked as though they could do real damage were being brandished inches from my face. Our run was packed full of these intense moments, making me scream more than any of the paid experiences at the resort. Not only that, but the scenery was stunning, packed with fire, smoke, and lighting, making for an even more stunning atmosphere later in the evening. Whilst my second run didn’t live up to the madness of my first, this was still a beautiful attraction packed with jump scares, and I really hope it returns next year!
Runner Up: The One Man With A Chainsaw Who Traumatised Endless Schoolchildren (Bellewaerde)
Honorable MentionS
Castle of Shadows (Drayton Manor)
Of all of the pleasant surprises of the season, few have left me as amazed as Castle of Shadows. After a very rough-around-the-edges first try at scares in 2022, the park have re-worked the formula, using the same space for a very different attraction. Wheras in 2022, the space was used during the day for a (fantastic) family attraction, this year the area is solely home to Castle of Shadows, which thankfully has allowed for a much better usage of space. Within this space, we now get to enjoy tight walkways, unsettling mannequins, gorgeous lighting, and a smell so great I’ve been eyeing it up on AromaPrime ever since. It’s very much still aimed at first-time spook enjoyers, but for those who love atmosphere, story, and fun acting, it’s an extremely enjoyable attraction.
Stitches (FRIGHT NIGHTS)
After last year’s Survival Games focused far more on the dynamics of the maze than the theming, it was a delight to have Thorpe bring us a brand-new themed-to-the-nines attraction for this year’s Fright Nights. Despite its toy-centric theming, this maze was no game. My run-through was dark, disorientating and full of scares. When I wasn’t smiling from ear to ear as I took in the glorious theming, I was being pinned into a corner on my own as a psychotic toy monkey smashed his cymbals in my face. My only criticism was that the maze was a little too dark. At times I couldn’t make out where I was going, and it seemed a shame not to be able to see the sets a little better! I’m very excited for a few more runs through this beauty next season.
Psycho Circus (Screamfest)
New for 2023 at Screamfest was Psycho Circus, a show packed with circus acts that had me in pieces. In a way I’m not sure was good? But I adored all the same. The entire premise of the show was that all the performers were hellish monsters who had escaped from hell and were being sent back by this fearsome overlord character (I think). Except, the ‘monsters’ were just really talented folk and the lord of darkness character was a bloke in a waistcoat who gave the vibe of the sort of guy who’d always get the first round at the pub. It was corny, delightful and filled with astonishing talent. I’m not sure it meant to make me laugh as much as it did, but I loved it for it all the same. (It’s worth noting that I actually thought this attraction would be a scare maze as it’s listed on the website under scares rather than entertainment so I was very disappointed that there wasn’t actually a new maze this year!)
Biggest Disappointments
Originally I considered doing a similar structure for this section, listing a most disappointing maze and such, but I’m not sure that structure really works for this type of experience. Mazes vary so much in their experience from run to run that it just didn’t seem fair. That said, there were definitely a few things that disappointed me this season!
Disney Halloween Festival
It really hurts me to say this, but Halloween at Disneyland Paris just isn’t that great! Whilst I make an effort to try and visit for Christmas every year, I’d not visited for Halloween since 2019 so was excited to get back and experience the spookiest time of year in my favourite park! Of course, Main Street is decorated wonderfully with lights, garlands and statues throughout the land. The same is true in Frontierland, where humanoid pumpkins and Dia De Los Muertos-esque decor lead the way. These two areas look fantastic, and I do enjoy the addition of the Nightmare Before Christmas score to the Frontierland loop. (Don’t mention the changes to the Main Street audio.) However, these are the only parts of the park with decor. Everywhere else is just like any other day. As for entertainment, Mickey’s Halloween Celebration Parade is one of my all-time favourite parades, with fun floats, an incredible theme song, and a glorious show stop. But aside from some fun character meets (across Disneyland Park only), that’s it. That’s the entire event. The seasonal snacks were sold out everywhere, though we did manage to grab the patisserie in Victoria’s, there was no other entertainment to speak of, and Walt Disney Studios Park just had nothing at all. I understand it’s a difficult balance at Disney Parks, as many guests will be visiting for their once-in-a-lifetime trip and want the timeless Disney Experience. But, it just feels like they could, and should, do better.
Tulley’s Shocktober Fest
Argh, again, this hurts. But I just didn’t get scared at Tulley’s this year. At all. At first, I thought I was desensitized. Maybe scare attractions just don’t scare me like they used to? But then, as I visited more events throughout the season, I quickly learned that no, I do still get very scared. I just didn’t here. It was our first event of the season and a very quiet night, so we had solo runs and everything, and still no real scares. Of course, we still had a great night. Spending some time in one of their incredibly themed bars playing Top Trumps with Brian the Zombie was one of the highlights of my season. I just wish I had a single true scare.
Overall Thoughts
This season really made me realise how important it is to keep the season fresh. Whilst I started out with familiar events that left me wondering if scares weren’t for me anymore, by the end of the season, I had fully remembered what makes this time of the year so magnificent! From colour-changing lanterns to actors launching from the ceiling on a zip-line, I couldn’t believe some of the incredible scenes I got to witness this year. Of course, there’s always a place for the classics. I had my favourite-ever run of The Attic this season, and Trailers always just warms my heart. However, I’m already excited to plan a season packed full of new experiences next year!
Next Year’s Wish List
Every year I say I’ll definitely make it to certain events, but this year I’m going to set a wish list. A girl’s gotta dream, right?
Non-negotiable: Dr Frights
I’m going to try my best for: Halloween Horror Nights
If I’m very lucky: Walibi Holland
So, that’s my season! But what’s been the highlight of your spooky season? Is there anything I absolutely need to try next year? Let me know!
Speak again soon,
Claire
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coasterclaire.co.uk 