Okay, I admit it, I am a fraud. Sure, this blog is titled coasterclaire (thank you so much for stopping by!), but I have a secret. Coasters are not even my first love. That would be dark rides. My favourite coaster in the world, as of March 2023 is Taron at Phantasialand, thanks in no small part to its astonishing theming. And what is a dark ride, if not a beautiful showcase of theming? The best of the best offer a smorgasbord of theming elements – physical, digital, olfactory, audio, the list goes on – to immerse the guest in a world, and in a story. I may have gone off on the slightest of tangents here, but what I’m trying to say is that new dark rides make me effervescent with excitement. So, naturally, I was really, really excited for The Curse at Alton Manor.
I was heartbroken when Duel closed. Heartbroken. It was, without doubt, one of my favourite rides at Alton Towers. It was kitschy and fun. It hardly ever had a wait. It had some iconic audio. (#YEAAAAARGHHH4EVA) But, it’s fair to say it needed some love. Rumours had been flying around for a while that the just-about-clinging-on dark ride was due an overhaul, so it wasn’t an enormous shock when The Sign appeared in the ride’s exit corridor last summer, hinting at the attraction’s imminent closure. Whilst quietly grieving, I seized the opportunity to grab some final rides, and prayed to myself that whatever was coming was worth the loss of an attraction I happily rode every visit.
And that brings us here, 2023 and the opening of The Curse at Alton Manor. Following one of the best marketing campaigns I’ve seen in quite a while – honestly, I’ve been thinking about this ride non-stop – Duel’s replacement opened with the park’s season after just a six-month closure. Though I didn’t manage an opening day visit, I did get manage to get myself to the resort the day after to drink in everything Emily Alton had to offer us.
My plan for this blog is to gradually get more spoilery as it continues, with appropriate warnings to allow anyone who hasn’t yet experienced the attraction to bail when they see fit. So, to begin:
Spoiler-Free Thoughts
The Curse at Alton Manor is a bloody excellent dark ride. It’s delightfully spooky, in a way that we usually only get to experience during the month of October, but can now sample all year round! Almost every sensory experience I associate with spooks was present in this attraction, and this alone brought me great joy. It feels like a (family) scare maze in a way I’m not sure I’ve felt on a ride before. Whilst the attraction was perhaps not as technologically advanced as I expected from the discussion surrounding it beforehand, the blend of technology with classic dark ride techniques made for an experience that felt fresh and exciting, but also nostalgic and comforting at the same time. I was equal parts delighted, terrified, curious and entirely in my zone when riding this, and as I returned around for successive rides, I became more and more intent on spotting the details hidden throughout the attraction. Of all the easter eggs we’ve seen discussed, I’ve so far only located three throughout the attraction when riding, and they’ve all been pretty huge ones – I’ve got a long way to go! And that’s what’s so great. I just want to keep riding. I rode four times on my visit, and it’s not nearly enough. I need more. How exciting is that?! Oh and the pre-show slaps.
The only real gripe I have with the attraction is its reliability. I hope these are just teething problems, but there has been a lot of talk of riders experiencing the attraction with limited effects. I experienced this for myself on my final ride of the day, with the ride coming to a stop around halfway through. Though we weren’t stopped for long, once we were moving again, not a single effect worked for the rest of the attraction. Even the ride stop announcement was delayed, only announcing that we had come to a stop moments after we began moving! The ride then went down immediately after we exited. I really hope this is something that can be ironed out over the coming months, as it does make for a disappointing experience should your ride be impacted.
The Curse at Alton Manor is a brilliant addition to Alton Towers, and the UK theme park scene. It’s a hugely impressive step up from Duel and was achieved in an awe-inspiring six-month transformation. Do I believe it’s up there with the best in the world? Personally, no. But there’s a reason I don’t rank my favourite dark rides. It’s comparing apples to oranges. No, The Curse at Alton Manor isn’t Rise of the Resistance, it’s not Symbolica, it’s not The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, but it is fantastic, and as far as classic tracked dark rides go? It’s up there. As for the UK? Well, whilst it’s mighty difficult to compare a flying theatre to a classic dark ride, between you and me, I reckon Emily would beat Maximus in a fight.
Don’t want to know anything about Gloomy Wood, the outdoor queue line or the attraction’s associated food and beverage? Stop reading now.
Of course, we aren’t really just discussing a new dark ride here. Gloomy Wood has received a glow-up, including the most exciting of things, a themed snack stand!
Coach House Confectionary
Themed snacks are very important to me. A visit to a theme park is, more than anything else, supposed to be fun. And I strongly believe that this ethos should extend to the food. It’s fair to say that this isn’t really a concept that’s very well executed in the UK. Themed snacks are somewhat few and far between. So it’s almost revolutionary that we finally have a stand at Alton Towers dedicated to all things spooky and sweet.
I went in to this visit with a mind to pick up a different snack for each time I got in line for Curse. In the end, the ride was a walk-on for the majority of the day, and I just couldn’t stomach that much sugar. (Adult life eh?) So I settled for two things: the Coach House Cookie Spookwich and a black waffle cone filled with green mint soft serve
The Spookwich was a strange one. Described as ‘green goo filled’, the Spookwich didn’t really taste of too much. It was a standard not-super-high-quality chocolate cookie, filled with a ‘goo’ that just didn’t have any flavour at all. On the bright side, the white chocolate on top was really nice and the texture was great, with lovely soft cookies and little crunchy sprinkles. Would I get it again? Maybe in a pinch, but I’m not desperate for another. However, the soft serve is another story entirely. This was one of my favourite things I’ve had in a park in quite a while! Sure, it’s literally just mint flavour Mr Whippy in a black cone, but as a devotee to mint choc chip ice cream, this was everything. I can’t wait to go back and order all the other ice-cream-based treats. (I saw some people walking around with the freak shakes and ooooooh boy!)
P.S. Annual pass discount is accepted on everything here too, meaning the ice cream only set me back £2.80!
Gloomy Wood
The area surrounding The Curse at Alton Manor has also had some love, with appropriate signage – including many an easter egg! With signs dedicated to both John Wardley and John Burton, this is a touching tribute to the history of this particular attraction. The photo booth in the area now also allows you to take your own spooky ride-branded portraits, though when I entered and tapped a few buttons I couldn’t get it to respond. Gutted.
I’m not sure how long this will be the case, but on my visit there were also an incredible cast of roaming actors helping build the story, as well as just generally having a laugh with the crowd. Every time I asked for a photo, I was asked what indeed a photograph was and my ‘peculiar device’ was examined. There was even a pram, complete with moving doll, making its way around the area of its own accord, scaring many a guest on its way! It was all just really good fun, and I was very impressed to see them all still present on day two. I’d assumed these folks would only be around for opening day. What a treat!
Queue Line
An extended version of the former outdoor queue for Duel, the queue starts as you pass under an impressive carved archway, guarded by a ride host. This is the first time we see the ride host’s uniforms and oh my! They are stunning. Complete with scarf, top hat and embroidery, these costumes would fit right in at any world class theme park out there. I just hope there’s a summer variant!
54 years after opening, The Haunted Mansion continues to influence the world. This time with a queue line packed with comedy grave stones. As a great lover of puns, I’m always a sucker for these. But Towers went above and beyond here, making each of the gravestones not only comedic, but a reference to a former attraction. A ride graveyard! How amazing! The most important of course, being the Air gravestone, purely as it featured a pilot named Claire!
As well as gravestones, there were also some impressively substantial plaques helping to spell out of the story of the attraction to those in line. These are absolutely stunning!
The outdoor queue was also absolutely packed with blue/purple lights and smoke machines. Whilst the smoke was certainly atmospheric, the lights obviously weren’t doing much during the day time, but from the photos I’ve seen, this looks nothing short of incredible at night. I really hope we’ll all get the chance to see for ourselves come Scarefest, because I need this in my life!
From this point onwards I will be discussing elements inside the show building. You have been warned!
The Pre-Show
The pre-show is simultaneously the best, and the most frustrating, part of the entire attraction. There, I said it. Frustrating because it’s so damn good that I want to watch the entire thing each and every ride, but with the queueing structure maintained from Duel, guests are free to walk through this space on their way to the ride. And walk through they do. Often, they are instructed to do so in order to keep the queue moving – argh! This will of course, be a blessed relief to those who find the Wicker Man pre-show frustrating when they just want to get their rides in, but for me? I want the full experience each and every time. So, what am I fighting to see? Well, it starts with just audio. A voice that sounds very similar to the voice in Hex, introduces us to Emily and her plight, before the music swells and a very familiar dolls house comes to life, taking us further in to Emily’s story. The projections in the house reminded me so much of the little girl from Disneyland Paris’ version of Tower of Terror. It’s all very well done and exceedingly ominous.
The Ride
And so, on to the ride itself. Look, I’m not even going to attempt to give a blow-by-blow account of everything that happens on Curse because, quite simply, I have the memory of a goldfish. But I’ll try and give an idea of how it made me feel, and what I enjoyed most!
Do you have comfort ride? That one ride where, the moment you sit down, you’re home. You’re at ease. Everything is right in the world. Mine is Phantom Manor at Disneyland Paris. Nowhere in the world am I so at ease than on the first ascent up and out of the station. And, incredibly, the beginning of Curse made me feel similar. Turning in to the ride and being greeted by a chiming grandfather clock, and a calendar marking New Year’s Eve, I felt that joy, the sense of spooky anticipation. With the evil not having quite begun, this was my favourite scene in the ride for audio. The clock is ominous, and it’s the best chance you get to hear the score hold it’s own – strings, beautiful strings! And on you travel, passing walls that are pulsating and bursting with light – an early sign that you can expect more here than flat 2D painted sets – and a party filled with glowing skeletons. As mentioned earlier, throughout the ride, modern and classic effects are thrown together with obvious joy. One moment you could be jumping from the sudden appearance of a doll, simply swung out from around the corner by a mechanical arm. The next, you’re gazing in to what was, just a moment ago, a regular mirror. But now Emily herself is riding along in the ride vehicle next to you. (One of my favourite moments in the ride for sure!) But I think the star of the show might just be a returning classic, the almighty trommel tunnel. This was the first time I’ve ever seen the tunnel working, and combined with the spinning clock face you journey toward, it made me feel a way I’ve never felt on a ride before. On three of my rides, I turned behind me to check if the floor had been moving beneath me, so sure was I that the whole world had tilted. It was disorientating and overwhelming and elevated the sensory experience to a level I’ve rarely witnessed. The spider sequence too stood out to me, using a beautiful projection, traditional props and some returning friends from Duel to build a scene that made me uneasy, and would quite simply destroy any arachnophobes! Then there’s the birdcage, the hands, the duck! The flume duck! There is just so much happening in this ride that even after four rides, I’m sure I’ve still got plenty to spot. It’s a joy. A wonderful, scary – wow did I jump on my first ride – spooky joy. Yes, there are two dark sections and there’s no getting around the fact that at the moment, those do detract from the ride. But with work confirmed to be continuing through the season on the attraction, hopefully, this won’t be the case for very long. As if I needed the excuse to return.
If you haven’t already planned your next trip up to Alton Towers, it’s time to fix that.
Emily is waiting.
Speak again soon,
Claire
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