Honestly, I might as well just call this blog ‘Mr Freeze & Justice League Were Good’. But for fear of messing up the series, let’s have a chat about our somewhat brief visit to Six Flags St Louis.
Earlier in this blog series, I mentioned how the Carowinds car park convinced me that theme park car parks were the hottest places on earth. That was before I visited my first designed-like-a-car-park Six Flags. I don’t mean this as a slight on them. Six Flags is Six Flags, a comparatively cheap, low-theme, high-thrill chain (something their new CEO would do well to remember). But safe to say, I would have given a lot to be at a different brand of theme park on our first day where temperatures were in the 40s (celsius).
Well, this is a themed attraction blog, not a weather one so I’ll try not to focus too much on that. But it would be a lie to say that the weather didn’t overwhelm everything about this day. Of the 9 coasters at the park, I only actually ended up riding 4 as I quite simply didn’t feel up to anything even slightly rough. I did get in line for Boomerang, but baulked when I saw the chunky over-the-shoulder restraints – I’m usually fine on a Vekoma Boomerang, but simply didn’t have it in me to face an ear basher. Boss, Screaming Eagle and Ninja didn’t even get a second look (is there any scarier phrase than ‘Arrow/Vekoma hybrid’?) and American Thunder was down all day.
So, it’s somewhat ironic that the first ride of the day was – of course – Mr Freeze Reverse Blast. Thankfully there was heavy-duty air-con in the station, befitting the ride’s name. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been nervous about this one, even considering skipping it at one point, but I tried as hard as I could to quash the fear and get ready for an intense ride. Having not done my research beforehand, I had no idea this was a Premier Rides coaster! I simply did not realise they made rides this big. So it was a surprise to see their distinctive lap bar (yay!) waiting for us in the train.
Rocketing backwards at 70mph was a new sensation for me and every bit as intense as expected. But it’s safe to say they named this ride appropriately because it truly was a blast. From the unique joy of dangling from an inverted top hat, to slowing to a stop atop the largest spike I’ve ever experienced, this was a memorable, wonderful coaster. Nice one, Premier!
Our next stop lay directly opposite Mr Freeze and was – without question – one of my most anticipated rides, not just of the trip, but in the world. I am, of course, talking about Justice League: Battle for Metropolis. This ride takes everything you think you know about Six Flags parks and chucks it all in the trash. A collaboration between several ride studios, including the wonderful Sally Dark Rides, this is a dark ride that would stand proud in any theme park in the world. From the moment our vehicle started tilting and spinning – eat your heart out Ratatouille – its way through Metropolis, I was in love. Whilst there were plenty of screens, as you’d expect in a modern shooter, the physical set pieces in between were incredible. Early in the ride, you’re greeted by the Joker who drives his quad bike down a ramp before firing a cannon at you, engulfing you in smoke as your vehicle spins around from the blast. There are moments like this throughout, where seemingly endless different ride technologies come together to produce a jaw-dropping experience. The operating staff were also delightful and kind enough to invite us to stay on for a second lap as the queue was short – well, we didn’t need asking twice! I would quite happily have spent an entire afternoon lapping this masterpiece.
Alas, we had other rides to get checked off, so we had to leave the comfortable climate inside Battle for Metropolis and head on over to Pandemonium. Formerly Tony Hawk’s Big Spin, Pandemonium is a Gerstlauer spinning coaster – one of those ones with the square inward-facing cars – that was a surprising amount of fun given its modest layout. The only problem is those trains. Something I’ve learned about myself this year is that I’m not very good at spinning when facing inward. I rode Thorpe Park’s Vortex earlier in the season and felt nauseous in a way a gyroswing had never made me feel before. Now here I was on the brake run of Pandemonium, begging for the train to stop spinning. As we gently swirled around I felt increasingly ill and it was a blessed relief when we hit those final brakes. I do think the inward-facing trains add a lot to the ride experience on these spinners, with it being nigh impossible to see what’s coming next the ride feels completely out of control, but boy does it come at a price. At least for me.
We next moved on to River King Mine Train, an inoffensive but not particularly memorable Arrow Mine Train. This was a fun enough family coaster that didn’t bash you around too much, but my most vivid memory of it is the bizarre batching system. Instead of batching us in the (shaded) station, we were left out in the exposed queue line until the train was ready and waiting in the station. With the shade empty and taunting us, this was easily the closest I came to breaking – urgh!
With an eye to getting the park completed as quickly as possible, I split up from the rest of the group to scour the park for vegetarian lunch offerings. Reader, it was a struggle. Passing signs for corn dogs, beefburgers and hot dogs, it wasn’t looking great. Chop Six, selling Chinese food, seemed like the best bet. Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. This was the worst food I’ve ever eaten at a theme park by some margin – and I’ve eaten pancakes mistakenly drizzled with beetroot vinegarette instead of jam! (Never change, Disneyland Paris). Squidgy, unbearably salty and dripping with oil (look at the pool below those veggies!) this was barely fit for consumption. God, I feel ill just thinking about it.
The final ride of the day was another highly anticipated attraction: Batman The Ride. I’d been looking forward to riding one of these iconic, near-ubiquitous clones for a very long time and felt just a little bit emotional standing there in front of the ride sign. This – alongside its many siblings – is a clone of the original B&M Inverted Coaster at Six Flags Great America, and it’s easy to see how it ended up so widely cloned. With a compact layout that leads to an incredibly forceful ride experience, this has to be a competitor for most thrill per square foot on any coaster. You are simply never not experiencing an element – it’s relentless! Whilst I do prefer other inverts – Nemesis, OzIris and Afterburn to name a few – this would definitely be a must-ride for me on any visit to the park.
Sadly, I don’t really have a lot more to say about the park. I think five rides might be my lowest count of any new park visit ever, except you Nickelodeon Universe *shudder*. Having seen friends’ videos and tweets about their day here on the fantastic Pleasure Beach Experience club trip, I do wish we’d felt up to trying out the water rides. But honestly? Feeling awful, all we wanted to do was blast through the must-dos and get back to the car and predictably, the water rides had the longest waits in the park. I’m not sure whether it was a product of the weather, but we didn’t see any entertainment offerings across the park either, so there wasn’t too much to keep us around.
Whilst I maintain that I’ve still never visited a park I didn’t enjoy, this was probably my least-favourite park of the trip. The weather sure didn’t help, but the ride line-up just wasn’t for me sadly. However, being home to one of my favourite ever dark rides, and a very fun and unique coaster it was undoubtedly still a worthwhile stop. Not a bad first Six Flags Day!
Speak again soon,
Claire
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coasterclaire.co.uk 