In our fifteen-day trip, there were only two days we didn’t spend at a theme park. One was our final travel day (we simply didn’t have the energy to get ourselves to Coney Island, plus we’d been warned by local news to get to the airport really early), the other? Well, we had the small matter of driving the entire length of Tennessee, and some of Arkansas for good measure.
Whilst we were planning this trip, a lot of different things popped up on Twitter that I saw and thought ‘wow, it would be amazing if we could squeeze that in!’ Invariably, they added a good 5+ hours drive time to an already insane itinerary. All, except one. When I saw photos of the fundamentally insane Bass Pro Pyramid, it was an instant google maps search and to my surprise, it added just 40 minutes of drive time. 40 minutes to visit a ridiculous, over-the-top, incredibly themed fishing shop? Would we even be enthusiasts if we turned that down? So, on to the itinerary it went.
Bass Pro Shops at the Pyramid is located in Memphis, Tennessee. A mere seven-hour drive from Dollywood. So, bright and early we piled into the car, armed with plenty of M&Ms and as many weird and wonderful energy drinks as we could find. And we drove. And drove. And drove some more. One thing that really surprised me on this trip was just how boring these drives could be. In my head, the journey time wouldn’t matter because we are in America, there would be so much interesting stuff to see – alas! Whilst it was definitely interesting to get the opportunity to fully comprehend what ‘small town America’ meant – those people sure are isolated – it wasn’t quite the jam-packed sightseeing tour I expected. Lunch this day was a Dairy Queen connected to a gas station that was otherwise in the middle of nowhere with vast open plains stretching as far as the eye could see. It turned out Dairy Queen is not exactly ideal for vegetarians, with lunch being some pretzel bites and an ice cream, but given our location I was happy with whatever I could get my paws on.
Eventually, we rolled through Memphis city limits and it wasn’t long before we could spy a towering, glistening pyramid on the horizon. I cannot stress enough how truly ludicrous this place is, sitting proudly upon the banks of the Mississippi river it dominates the surrounding landscape.
Having been drawn towards its hulking profile as if it were the Death Star, we parked up and walked across the lot toward the entrance of what would be my first ever fishing shop – shocking I know.
The entrance, with its wooden panelling and antler-laden lighting fixtures immediately whisked me off to a National Parks lodge (or Disney’s interpretation of them at least), infact the pyramid does have its own hotel located around the outskirts of the pyramid – you can even get a room looking inwards at all the mad theming! Sadly that wasn’t why we were here – though if I ever end up back in Memphis for some reason you know I’m gonna be pricing that up – so we continued onwards in to the main shopping area, and oh my.
Oh. My.
Was I really in a shop? Because frankly, I was pretty certain I was in a swamp, somewhere down in Louisiana perhaps. At the heart of the pyramid was a bayou, surrounded by life-size trees and ‘individual’ shops. To cross the bayou there were a series of bridges and boardwalks, taking you between the different outlets. As well as various ‘shops’ – they were all one shop really with one large checkout area – stocking things such as homeware, clothing and candy, there was a large recreation area in the furthest rear corner of the pyramid with food, drink and bowling!
I’ll be honest, all I knew about this place was that the pyramid was enormous and that it was a highly themed fishing shop. So, the presence of the hotel, dining and bowling was a bit of a surprise! But there was one more surprise here, one that we would actually partake in.
Drawn in by some gorgeous steampunk-esque (big Atlantis: The Lost Empire vibes) signage, we learned that the pyramid is home to the highest freestanding elevator in the country! That doesn’t really sound like a particularly prestigious accolade to me, but who am I to turn down a birds-eye view of a themed environment?! A ride to the top cost a reasonable $8 for adults and $5 for under-12s, so we grabbed our tickets and lined up for the next trip.
It turns out that there is some significance to the elevator being freestanding. It makes it surprisingly scary! I’m usually okay with heights as long as I’m secure – lift-hills don’t phase me in the slightest – but there was something about heading vertically up in the middle of the room, feeling like there was nothing holding us up, that made me squirm a little. Still, the views were gorgeous!
Once we reached the summit, we were greeted by yet another surprise: a gorgeous bar surrounding a vast fish tank and filled with steampunk sculptures of aquatic creatures! There was a wide range of sculptures, but my favourites were definitely the multiple frogs – look at these guys!
If we hadn’t had such a lengthy day full of travel, I would have loved to stop here for a while. Bright, airy, with stunning views and plenty of gorgeous theming elements, this is my sort of bar!
Of course the main attraction up here was the viewing platform offering panoramic views over both Memphis and the Mississippi river. Whilst the slightly out-of-town location meant the city views weren’t as stunning as I’ve seen from other viewing platforms, it was a treat to see the legendary river from such heights!
The viewing platform also gives you the opportunity to step out on a glass floor though honestly, this doesn’t have quite the same power when it’s at the tip of a pyramid. When stood on the glass, all I could see when looking down was the angular wall beneath me – not quite as scary as the usual vast nothingness! Still wouldn’t want to slide down it to be fair.
After a short while taking in the views, it was time to buy a few new bags of candy and get back on the road, almost immediately entering the state of Arkansas (the Mississippi is the state line). Now, I said earlier that the drive had been a bit boring but holy cow Arkansas was dull. We drove for a good two hours seeing next to nothing but abandoned farms and the odd isolated house, to the point that we were all feeling very unsettled. It truly felt like a horror movie. I can’t even begin to imagine that way of life!
We were still in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in the Ozarks, when we finally found somewhere for dinner. A combination Taco Bell/KFC. Honestly, why don’t we have more of these? Taco Bell is the most dependable vegetarian food in the USA (they’re everywhere and you can always get a bean burrito) and the combination with KFC meant the non-veggies were very happy too. We had a great chat here with the staff who were pretty shocked at a group of British people somehow making their way to this most isolated of fast food restaurants – they even gave us free cookies!
Absolutely shattered, and knowing we had another few hours to drive in the morning we arrived at our motel ready to collapse. But unfortunately for us, the receptionist here too was amazed at having British people arrive at the establishment. We were, infact, the first Brits she’d ever met in all her years at the motel, and she’d met people from all over (she reeled off a list and it certainly was a lot of countries) so we had no choice but to answer a few questions about the Queen and the Jubilee before being given the keys to our rooms.
Phew, what a day.
Speak again soon,
Claire
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